Has Beens Season Preview

Sunday marks the official start of the Has Beens Hockey Club second season of excellence. Read on for a brief history of this esteemed institution.
In September of '04, two of Boston College's most prolific scholar-athletes were getting diesel at the Plex. As we, Mike and Joe, alternated sets on the bench (throwing up 300lbs and grunting like the women's rugby team), ideas started to fly about how we could create a movement which would include several of the most important aspects of our lives: hockey, parties, and muscular young guys. Joe was on a one-year hiatus from his position of netminder for the BC Eagles, and Mike was a recent retiree, hailing from the prep school Powerhouse of Puck- Thayer Academy. Although he had decided to come to Boston College and give up the dream, Mike's desire to hang out with his wang out in a locker room with a bunch of other fellas was too great to ignore, and he needed to get back on the ice. Joe needed to stay active and keep his hockey senses sharp. And thus, the Has Beens were born.
The idea started modestly- an intramural hockey team of recent retirees who had played good schoolboy hockey. A motley collection of former prep school poster-boys and other past-their-primers came together, and we all realized what kind of potential our franchise had. Not only did we have a bunch of good players, but we also had some of the best dudes on campus. What started as simply a recreational puck squad was becoming a social institution and the kind of brotherhood that you can't find outside of the rink. Within weeks, the Has Beens had thrown the first of many legendary Has Beens bashes- shindigs where beverages and beautiful vixens were aplenty, and the dancefloor debauchery was straight out of CSI: Lansdowne.
The inaugural season of the Has Beens Hockey Club was certainly a success. The team cruised to an IM Championship, playing with class and displaying a skill level and toughness not often seen in a recreational beer league. The rest of the league responded to this upping-of-the-ante, and the quality of play and commitment to the league increased noticeably. There were highlight reel snipes, open-ice burials by Has Beens goons Kev Gill and Ryno Reynoso, memorable goal celebrations, and even some quality fisticuffs with our most heated rivals. But what the boys really took away from the first season was the enjoyment of being on a hockey team, something that several of them had not anticipated to feel ever again. The locker room banter, the post-game outings, and the unmatchable camaraderie of a close-knit hockey team- this is what the Has Beens are all about.

Introducing the 2005-2006 Boston College Has Beens Hockey Club:

• Andrew Baird--> rugged d-man out of Milton Academy; can QB the PP with ease and knows more about alcoholic drinks/clubs/bars/college/everything than anyone.
• Ben Bolduc (rookie)--> Froshy from Lawrence Academy; rangy power forward who will bring some bang to the Has Beens front line.
• John Chandler--> came in mid-season last year from Rollins College; part of the Has Beens arsenal of big bangers who snipe on command; a Double Eagle who fought heroically for BC High.
• Kyle Concannon--> one of the few out-of-staters on the HB's; is a great asset to the team and can play anywhere and let's his snipes do the talking.
• Peter Frates--> a Birdballer from St. John's Prep who often gets confused for Ray Bourque; Fr8-Train is a kid who has really bought into the Has Beens system and plays/parties like a rock star.
• Kevin Gill--> maybe the most reliable role-player in the B.C.I.M.N.H.L., Kev knows when the time is right to crush a mofo or just dangle on a poor soul for the game-winner. Can sometimes be found in the penalty box, being a bash brother.
• Mike Greeley (C)--> A true Has Been d-man out of Thayer Academy, this soldier embodies all that is Has Beens Hockey Club. A co-founder of the program.
• Phil Holden--> one/half of the ferocious twinasaurus rex that dominated Mass. public high school hockey and now snipes blindfolded for the Has Beens. Also a BC golfer.
• Tim Holden--> white kid out of Westwood, Mass who is the ying to Phil's yang. You can spot these two easily because they are in green gear and they just toe-dragged your ass.
• Bobby Kneeland (C)--> Winthrop High / Philips Exeter wonderchild who scored the last minute game-winner in last year's championship. Look up sick athlete in the encyclopedia, and you will see a picture of Bobby Bones.
• Nick Knellinger--> aka Smelly Nelly, this Colorado native played his puck at Brewster Academy and can wheel and deal with the best of 'em. Great attitude and great mop of blond hair to boot.
• Marek(C)--> studying abroad right now somewhere, but Marek is one of the best-looking dudes on the team and is a true leader. Huge asset coming back 2nd semester.
• Jeff Marr--> aka Marrzilla- Jeff is a Dan Bertram twin on and off the ice. A former Milton Academy Mustang, Jeff can dangle and has a great smile.
• Matt McElaney (rookie)--> aka Mack- this is a freshly-minted Has Been out of St. Seb's. Will be a huge addition to the team and has already proven himself as a true gongshow.
• Paul Monaco (rookie)--> a senior recruit from Burlington, MA... Paul brings a great attitude to the table and is also ready to host some historical Has Beens ho-downs in Iggy A15. We are very excited to see what he is gonna bring to the team athletically.
• Conor O'Brien--> aka Wrabs- a solid d-man who protects the net but is also ready to unleash some bomb-zillas from the point. A very loveable character.
• Ryne Reynoso--> Ryno! another Birdballer, out of Idaho. No, u da ho. Spends a lot of time on the bench coaching, but once in a blue moon suits up for a big game. Killer wrister/ best-looking kid in the league and maybe the school.
• Mike Skryz--> Probably the nicest kid on campus. Skryz can dangle, Skryz can snipe, and by gosh can Skryz slay dragons. HUGE part of this program. Another BC High boy.
• Nick Tarnoff--> aka Noff- You know who he is. Sophomore netminder, Heights photographer, Reservoir serial flasher, freshman girl quality control consultant. Noff, Noff, NOFF NOFF NOFF!

COACHING STAFF:

• Joe Pearce (Head Coach)- A true student of the game, Pearcey rules with an iron fist on the Has Beens bench. A role model for everyone. Noff's Godfather.
• Kelly Donahue (Team Chaplain/ Asst. Coach)- Fr. Kelly is the best pre-game speech maker around and keeps things real on the bench. Looks dapper in his game-day suit.
• Matt Fumoso- (Asst. Coach) - aka Moose; This guy has shown dedication beyond compare to our program. He is always gellin like a felon and knows the game well.
• Adam Reasoner- (Goalie Coach)- This newcomer has perhaps the toughest job in the league- teaching Noff how to play hockey. A Freshman BC goaltender, Adam is the second coming of Coach Pearce and could be the great JP's succesor at the helm of the HB's.

That's the squad for this year. We have some verbal commitments from a few prospects who could get added to the roster in the next week or so.

HAS BEENS OPENING NIGHT (on-ice): Sunday, October 30 @ 7. Conte Forum. Has Beens v. CHEVY 1st. Be There.

HAS BEENS WEBSITE!!!!!--> The Has Beens have really gone global. Surf on over to www.hasbeenshockey.com and enjoy Has Beens party photos, player bio's, Has Beens Girl of the Week, Rink Rat Chat, Has Beens Glossary, and check up on all your Has Beens news.