Monday, November 28, 2005

Thanksgiving Leftovers

Your boys from Gongshow@BC spent Thanksgiving at the Greeley home in Scituate, Mass. Scituate is a charming South Shore community and is proudly nicknamed the "Irish Riviera." It was the perfect setting for a Turkey Day Feast and Jan Greeley really outdid herself with a smorgasbord of delicious delicacies. We hope all of our readers had an equally enjoyable holiday.

A true gongshow knows the importants of academics and getting the most out of Boston College, and we here at Gongshow@BC have our priorities straight. Right now, BC students are coming down the home stretch of the academic semester- a grueling few weeks of final projects, exams, and the like. Hence, today's blog will just be a few quick snippets for you to enjoy.

Free Burrito Day- Boloco, formerly known as The Wrap, is a Cleveland Circle staple for the crunchy BC student. We have been huge Wrap fans for years, and we support the name change as John Pepper (Wrap co-founder) looks to promote Boloco's product as an "inspired burrito" and not as a cold, boring wrap. From 11am-7pm on Tuesday (29th!), Boloco will be winning back the hearts of Cleveland Circle diners by giving away free burritos. We'll be there, and you can be damn certain that Homeless Indian Rock Star (formerly known as Crazy Drunk Violent Homeless Indian aka Chief), Dallas Cowboys Starter Jacket/ moustache guy, and mis-matched sneaker non-crust eating Bank of America ATM guy will all be there too.

Bostonians Christmas Concert- The Bostonians, Gongshow@BC's favorite campus a cappella group since Annie Murphy retired from The Sharps, are having their annual holiday show this Saturday (12/3) at 7pm. Alex Bain aka Bain Train, a loyal Gongshow@BC reader and also a new uncle to Luke Alexander Foley, is a stud bass in the group and will surely shine come Saturday night.

BC/BU Hockey Weekend- This series is the epitome of college hockey, and any matchup between the two Comm. Ave juggernauts is steeped in tradition. This Beanpot preview might even outdraw the Bostonians concert and will have the electric atmosphere of a Has Beens / Puck U. overtime thriller. The Gongshow@BC family has ties to both sides of this rivalry, as Steve Greeley (older brother of Mike) played at BU (01-04) and co-author Joe Pearce is a BC netminder. God Bless Everyone. On a sidenote, we want to remind all 21+ BC Superfans that alcoholic beverages are sold at Agganis Arena, so pace yourself accordingly at Roggie's Happy Hour and get to Agganis in time for the National Anthem. Good Luck to the Eagles- Friday at Conte and Saturday at Agganis.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Miyagi- On November 24th, the world lost one of its greatest ninja's. Pat Morita, who also appeared in over 100 made-for-TV movies / Lifetime specials/ junior high sex-ed videos, was made famous by the Karate Kid trilogy and will be missed dearly by aspiring ninjas and fellow dojo masters worldwide.

A True BC Vixen- A Mod-dwelling beauty has been spotted in Barstool Sports' Meet the Model. Jen, who hails from Lynnfield, Mass, preserves the reputation of BC's Connell School of Nursing for being a factory for classy, attractive BC coeds. This is not the first time BC has been well represented in Barstool Sports' Meet the Model- we don't know if she is a BC girl, but Kristen from Woburn can certainly pull off the Superfan shirt in a way that would make any Kostka boy smile. Thanks to the BC Blog for digging these up and for showing the Gongshow@BC so much love.

BigUps: *Tyrese Rice, a froshy baller out of VA, is this week's ACC Rookie of the Week. With 21 points in the championship game of the Las Vegas Invitational, this trey-draining phenom should have a huge season for the Dirty Birds, who are predicted by the NY Times to be front-runners for the National Championship this year. *The Pilgrims and Indians- These guys were really onto something with the whole Thanksgiving feast idea. And to think it's been almost 400 years since that original gongshow in Plymouth- we remember it like it was yesterday.

Gongshow@BC COMMENT POLL- What was the best late 80's- early 90's TV show? Click on COMMENT and let us know what your favorite was. -Mike Greeley & Joe Pearce

Monday, November 21, 2005

Gongshow/ Heights Coincidence??

Today, while perusing The Heights, our favorite BC newspaper, we were dismayed to find glaring similarities between past gongshow@BC discussions and the most recent "Thumbs Up / Thumbs Down" (pg. A7, The Heights, Nov. 21) opinion column. As our readers certainly remember, we brought to light the story behind the "Smelly Quad" in our November 2nd entry. We also commented on the problems created by cash-paying diners in Hillside, a process which holds up the line and creates humongous traffic jams. Coincidentally, The Heights managed to cover both these topics today, in a very similar fashion to how we did it, in their Thumbs Up / Thumbs Down column. Do great minds think alike or have we uncovered the biggest scandal in journalism since the Jayson Blair / New York Times fiasco?
Here at gongshow@BC, journalistic integrity is of utmost importance. We figure that if we aren't putting our own thoughts out there, in our own way, then we have nothing. We are proud of our work, and it tickles us to think that we are nearing the 11,000 Hit mark. But if The Heights is going to start pulling ideas from the gongshow@BC, we are going to expect a little love from The Heights and some proper citation. As soon as Monday's Heights came out, dozens of gongshow@BC fans were calling us after noticing the similarities. Now we don't want to start throwing the P-word around, but we really hope this doesn't happen again. Talk about bush league.

News from the "Smelly Quad"- Now as if things in the Quad weren't smelly enough already, we have observed several elderly women harvesting the Ginkgo Biloba berries from the grass under the tree. We reckon that these farmers from the Far East are using the berries, which are widely known to benefit brain functions and circulatory health, for holistic purposes, Chinese gingko recipes, and for relieving the vicious aftermath of an evening of Sake Bombing. If you see these amateur harvesters, give them a hand and throw some Ginkgo three-pointers into their baskets.

Big Ups: *We want to recognize one of the most familiar faces on campus- Can Lady aka The Canimal. This Weekend Warrior can be seen poking around the Mods, collecting beer cans and throwing Ginkgo berries at unsuspecting froshy vixens. Godspeed, Canimal. *Chris Collins deserves a pat on the bum for his DIRTY snipage in this weekend's hockey win vs. Northeastern. Although the backhand toe-drag has never been successful on Pearcey in practice, BC's leading scorer aka Mr. BoDangles came through with the game-winner. *Craig Smith aka Mista Smiff aka Get 'Em Craaaig, BC's baddest baller who just recently got his braces off (watch out vixens!), just turned 22 and is now rollin' on dub twoz. CHEA! *The Miami Footballers who released the most popular football song (this song is rated R for adult language) since The Super Bowl Shuffle. Rumor has it that this is the new Miami Fight Song.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

All Things Crunchy / Laguna Bash / Tidbits

All Things CRUNCHY- Crunchy people are a breed of their own. Similar to "college", everybody has a little bit of crunch in them, but some people are just total crunchmasters. Some of our readers have no idea what we are talking about when we call somebody "crunchy", so tonight we are going to try to define this lifestyle. But before all you baby-booming gongshow fans fire up the kitchen stove for some tye-dying or dust off your Woodstock-era peacepipe, let us remind you to not confuse "crunchiness" with being a hippie.
And now, as best we can, a brief description of the stereotypical crunchy person.
Habitat: The crunchy person can be found tight-rope walking on the BC campus, playing the bongo drums at the commune, in coffeeshops (including the Hillside bar), hiking the Appalachian Trail, strumming their guitar/ reading in the Dustbowl, or protesting unfair Malaysian labor laws in front of Conte Forum. While the average BC student is discussing a recent Has Beens gongshow at Roggies, the crunchy kids are discussing their latest Save the Whales efforts at Moogy's (gongshow sidenote-Moogy's has $1 drafts all day, and some great crunchy healthy food.)
Wardrobe/ Appearance: Crunchy people love corduroys, Birkenstocks, anything hemp, camping backpacks, Patagonia furry fleeces, wool socks, ski caps with outflowing nappy fro, carabiner keychains, and Nalgene bottles (with a Free Tibet sticker, of course) carabinered to their North Face backpack with a yoga mat protruding out the top. The crunchy guys often have beards, while the crunchiest women have furry legs. Diet: The Crunchy food pyramid is dominated by organic, earthy foods- sprouts, Odwalla bars and juices, chick peas, hummus, tofu, pita pockets & chips, vegetarian panini's, Fresh Samantha juice, granola, yogurt, raisins, trail mix, unsalted pistachios, soy milk, etc.
Transportation: Crunchy methods of transportation include longboarding, barefoot walking, biking, hybrid cars, old school Land Rovers, Volvo's, Saab's, Volkswagens or Subaru Outbacks. A crunchy car almost always has ski racks and Grateful Dead, Phish, or other bumper stickers protesting something.

A crunchy person is diet-Hippie, Hippie Lite, or Neo-Hippie. In a lot of cases, he would love to be a hippie but his parents have invested too much in him for him to become a hardcore earth-lover. Crunchy people, who are (unexplainably) often Jewish or Christian Scientist, come from all over the country, but you will find a high concentration at the New England prep schools, or at the small New England colleges (Middlebury, Amherst, Bates, etc). UVM students walk the hippie/crunchy line. BC students are usually more of a yuppie-crunch. They are crunchy, but they keep it crunchy while also following the unwritten lifestyle guidelines of the Heights. Element-proof North Face jackets dominate the campus, and the Plex is littered with indestructible Nalgene bottles- but in all honesty, the only elements the North Face's are conquering are splashed Busch Lights on the 1914 dancefloor, and the only extreme usage Nalgene bottles get is by booze-smuggling Eagles fans in the Alumni Stadium student section.
Disclaimer: Everybody has a little crunch in them. We consider ourselves to be part-time participants in the BC yuppie-crunch movement. It's a good style, and the diet-crunchy is mainstream here. So don't get your thermal underwear in a bunch- we all know who the leader of the Crunch Brunch is. We don't know his name, but we have all seen him tight-rope walking, skipping barefoot through campus, and dominating trail mix. He is just way too crunchy.

Laguna Beach BASH!-
what: Laguna Beach Party
who: Stephen and Jason from MTV's Laguna Beach, anybody 18+
where: Felt, Theater District
when: Thursday (11/16) @ 9-2
why: We at gongshow@BC are heterosexual, but we are quick to admit admiration for the kids from Laguna Beach. They are living a sweet life with their friends in Cali, beautiful vixens, nice weather, etc. Now they are getting paid to tour the country and have these Laguna Beach parties in major college towns. It's like being a pro athlete or a rockstar, but instead of partying after you play/perform/work, you just go straight to partying. What a job. This party is sure to be a gongshow and there is already scores of BC Thursday nighters planning on heading downtown for the night. See the studs from the show and get silly on the dancefloor with coeds from the other Boston schools. 18+ to party, 21+ to drink. Officially endorsed by gongshow@BC.

GONGSHOW BLESSINGS: BC Sailing's Golden Child, Reed Johnson, is headed to Hawaii Thursday morning to compete in the Singlehanded National Championships. We wish Reed the swiftest of winds and the best of luck as he competes against the best sailors in the nation. Godspeed, Big Johnson.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

This and That

We hope everyone had a great weekend. We are nearing the 10,000 visitors mark, and believe us, it is very exciting. 10,000 is the "second base" of the blogging world, and the suspense is bringing me right back to senior spring in high school when that "second base" dream became a reality. Just kidding, course. It was senior winter.
A few housekeeping tidbits:
  • We want all of our BC readers to join the Has Beens Fan Club on Facebook. If you haven't browsed our loyal fanbase lately, you will be quick to realize that is collectively the best looking group on Facebook. Get in there if you want to be bumping and grinding at the next Has Beens bonanza. Male fans can join, too.
  • We want to thank our gongshow supporters who are reading from abroad. To see where our diverse audience is reading from, click on the hit counter on the bottom of the page and click Location- a quick sampling of foreign hits includes Australia, Canada, Italy, Ireland, England, Netherlands, Spain, and Lowell, Massachusetts.

"For Boston"- So we've realized that very few of us actually know all of the words to our Fight Song. This is semi-embarrassing, and we think everyone should learn it and know it before they graduate. We don't know all the words, but we do know that "For Boston" has some major potential as a techno remix.

Homeless Drunk Indian, UNPLUGGED- You all know him. He hangs in front of the Cleveland Circle 7/11 or in the Bank of America ATM. He frequently berates BC students and passersby for being on his land. He is sometimes violent. He is always intoxicated. He is a legend. And now he is a rock star. We're not sure how it happened, but the Chief and his comrades have got their hands on several musical instruments and now spend their time jamming out and singing instead of shouting obscenities at freshman girls. Chief has really turned over a new leaf here, and he has invited us to hear him and the Chieftains rock out on weekend nights in the Circle. Please support Chief however you can, as he is being friendly and cooperative and he actually plays a pretty mean keyboard. Rock and Roll, Chief.

Starter Jackets / Jerseys- Back in elementary school, Starter Jackets were all the craze. It seemed like every kid on the playground had a BC, Notre Dame, Michigan, Bruins, Patriots, or Celtics Starter Jacket, and those lacking the half-zip hooded holiness were labeled as geeks, wieners, or peasants. I never had a Starter Jacket. I got by, however- by borrowing my friend's Starter Jackets, I made it look as though I had a constantly rotating selection of the finest outerwear at Hatherly School. The reason we are talking about Starter Jackets is because the NHL is back and Bruins fans are once again flocking to Causeway Street. Bruins fans are perhaps the most blue-collar group of sports fans in Boston. If you scan the crowd at a B's Battle, you will see thousands of mulleted middle-aged men with killer beer guts in Bruins Starter Jackets or shiny satin B's button-ups. The B's Starter Jacket is the Garden's version of the seersucker blazer. It's super classy, but this fashion gem can also survive a few spilled beers or ketchup stains. Those bleacher creatures who are not sporting the Starter are almost certainly flaunting a Bruins jersey with their favorite Bruin's name and number proudly stitched on back. You'll see a lot of throwbacks- Moog, Bourque, Lemelin, O'Reilly; and also some newbies- Thornton, Alberts, Leahy (a kid whom I pee'd on one time when he slept over the Greeley house back in the day- true story). The guys wearing these jerseys consider them the "Green Jacket" of Beantown and wear them with confidence and a ferocity unique to Boston sports fans. Our question is, can adult males rock the sports jersey?

How old is too old? The sports jersey is a staple of the young American male's wardrobe. An authentic jersey is instant credibility for any middle school jock in this country. A good b-ball jersey is a money addition to any kid's wardrobe. A Sox jersey, on the right occasion, can be the silver bullet in the wooing of any New England vixen. But does jersey-wearing have to stop at some point? Except in some very extreme cases, I don't think I'd let my Dad get away with wearing a sports jersey in public. Charles Barkley and 50 Cent have both said publicly that jersey-wearing should be limited to men 30 and under. Barstool Sports, a very legitimate source for Boston sports commentary, says the cutoff is 33. Tough break for those middle-agers who still think they have the pizazz to sport the Flutie classic to Shea Field on a crisp fall afternoon. But older jersey wearers have a bad wrap in some circles- for example, once this BC football season we were in a friend's box enjoying the game with a group very diverse in age. A guest, who was rooting loudly for the visiting team, was wearing his team's jersey. He seemed a little too old for his outfit, but we let it fly. However, this guy also ended up being the belligerently drunk one in the box who was swearing at BC and screaming "O'Brien, I'm gonna shoot you..... with a gun!!!!" He had to be publicly chastised by men his age for being inappropriate in front of the women and children, and he sat down embarrassed, with shame on his face and mustard on his Wolfpack jersey. If this is the kind of adult male who is wearing a jersey, we think that's a red flag. We still aren't sure if there is an age at which a guy is too old to rock a jersey, but we would use careful discretion. Don't be "that guy".

Big Ups: *Nate Gerbe (gerr-bee) for scoring both goals in BC Hockey's 2-1 Sunday victory over UVM. *Tara Luciani for her gamewinning sniiiipe which put BC women's soccer past BU and into the NCAA Sweet 16. *BC Football for their ballsy victory against NC State yesterday. *BC Alum and retired b-ball halftime MC Colin Smythe for his input for this gongshow update. *All Shea Field Tailgate hosts + alumni who have been hospitable to BC students throughout the fall season- there's nothing like a calzone and a few Tedy Brewskies from a stranger. You guys are true gongshows.

Thanks for tuning in and for joining the gongshow@BC. Spread the link to your posse and add us to your favorites. God Bless. -Mike Greeley '08 and Joe Pearce '07

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Holy Has Beens!

We knows words can't describe it. We try to tell our friends, our parents, our priests, our imaginary girlfriends, etc. But eventually we just smile and stop trying- because Has Beens parties cannot be put into words.
On Friday night, we hosted the year's first official Has Beens Hockey Club social function. We were expecting Big Things, as this was Rookie Night followed by a Has Beens extravaganza open to only our closest friends, family, and fanatics. Within our organization, every member is considered a rookie on Rookie Night, so everybody goes through the initiation process. The details of this magical night are confidential, but ask any Has Been about it, and just see the look in his eyes upon its mention.
We approach our parties as we approach our hockey games, potential girlfriends, financial accounting case studies, etc. Preparation is key. Before a hockey game, we will do chalk talk and make sure everyone is on the same page with our systems. While in pursuit of a special vixen, we will do our homework and due diligence- researching via Facebook, cross-referencing on Agora, and identifying mutual friends. Weeks of planning go into Has Beens parties, and it always pays off. We do telethons for the Has Beens Social Fund, DJ Noff and Bain Train put together the best iPod playlist on the East Coast, everyone pitches in on Has Beens decorations, the prestigious guest list is compiled, and we secure enough libations to make the entire I.R.A. legless. It is an arduous process, but one that we enjoy nonetheless, for we know that a splendid soiree will ensue.
When it's go-time, the energy is incredible. With our Rookie night commencing with the traditional "knighting" of each Has Been, which officially recognizes their personal release of "the dream" and complete acceptance of being a Has Been, there was a line at the door and several VIP/ Honorary Has Beens inside observing the Da Vinci Code-esque rituals (lead by Brother Kelly, our team chaplain). The suspense and excitement which permeated the waiting crowd was reminiscent of the Filene's Basement Annual Bridal Gown Sale. Everyone knew that upon the completion of Rookie Night, an absolute gongshow of a party would take place- a memorable evening of friends, dancing, revelry, and celebration of all that is the Has Beens Hockey Club.
As I said before, I really can't even attempt to describe the party. Within a few days, we will have hundreds of pictures up on for your enjoyment. For those who attended: take your laptop to Bapst, get your wireless going, and engage in a few moments of thoughtful reflection while perusing the pictures. While you're at it, check out the newest Has Beens Cover Girl. For those who didn't attend or who didn't get past the velvet rope: We wish you could've joined us, please hang 'em up and try again.

Other Weekend Highlights: While most social activities pale in comparison to Has Beens parties, this weekend was actually chock-full of good times. On Saturday night, your boys from gongshow@BC were doing some field work downtown. Our friends from the Pittsburgh Penguins, most notably Scituate's Son Ryan Whitney, Brooks Orpik (an officially rostered member of the 2004-2005 Has Beens Championship team), and Sid (the Kid) Crosby, all of whom are loyal gongshow@bc readers, were in town for a game against the Bruins and joined us for an old-fashioned gongshow following the game. We were joined by our BC crew, several Scituate natives, my brother Steve, and many other notables from the greater-Boston hockey community at The Greatest Bar and at Trinity in Faneuil Hall, both revered establishments which attract great crowds.

Hillside Napkin Notes: *Today was a great day in Hillside. Greels had been up all night working, and needed some quality relaxation. Pearcey had just dominated a Mass Comm. exam. Adam Reasoner had brought his Apple iBook with him, and we were doing some major wireless social networking. We got the name of a Hillside regular, who had thus far been known simply as "Book Girl" or "Red Shirt" from her friend, and looked her up on Facebook. From her photos, we could then identify all of her friends at the table and instantly knew where they were from, what classes they took, and the status of their lovelife. We then pretended that we had gone to high school with them, or that we shared a class, or that we had met at Orientation. Facebook is great. *We are leading a crusade against cash-paying during primetime in Hillside. It takes way too much time and meanwhile the line is lengthening exponentially. The cash-payers have no choice, though, and it is up to Eagle card-holders to bite the bullet for their fellow diners and swipe for the cash-only peasants. *Finally, a MAJOR Hillside Violation- check out this picture, taken with Brett Motherwell's camera phone, during lunch this past week. This is completely unacceptable and if identified, these Hillsiders will be banished to the Rat, where they can sleep all they want.

Big Ups To.....: *BC Women's Volleyball for dominating their way to a 2nd ACC victory. *Alex Bain for driving his Trail-Rated Jeep Grand Cherokee off the back of a tow-truck in Cleveland Circle. *BC Women's Hockey team for their barn-burning OT victory over a very bitter UNH squad on Saturday night; this lead to a historic first-ever Top 10 national ranking! *Whoever is behind the sweet statue going up on the lawn behind Higgins and Fulton. That's the kind of stuff that makes this campus so unstoppable. We will update you when we find out who the statue is of, the story behind it, etc. Our money is on St. Ignatius, the Keeper of the Flame.

That's it for today. Be sure to pass the link around to your friends and foes.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Halloween Recap // Snippets

So Halloween has become one of the top social occasions at BC, right up there with Marathon Monday and football gamedays. We've talked about it, and it's interesting what happens to Halloween throughout the lifetime. As a young kid, it's definetly a huge event: as a real young one, you don't really know what's going on; throughout elementary school, it becomes cooler and cooler and peaks during the years when you start trick-or-treating without an adult supervisor. We remember fondly the days when our parents would trail at a "cool" distance to be sure we didn't get hit by a car, get abducted by the notorious Halloween kidnappers, or eat any candy without sufficient wrappers. But that Halloween rolled around, I'm thinking sometime around 4th or 5th grade, when everyone else was allowed to go out alone and your parents were still sending a trailer. "Real bush league, Mom" we would say. Parents totally hampered the experience, preventing anything involving eggs, silly string, etc. It also ruined the chance of sprinting from house to house, a style of trick-or-treating which maximizes candy collection and is huge for bragging rights. Halloween was at its coolest for those few years, (which should end at about 8th grade), when we trick-or-treated alone and wreaked havoc all throughout town. We would hit up the neighborhoods most notorious for attracting the cool kids, where nice mothers in witch hats would give out candy liberally, and every few houses we might even get a king size Butterfinger.
With junior high and high school, Halloween became less and less of a diversion. We weren't allowed to go trick-or-treating, and we were too old for Halloween parties at school. Although Thayer Academy has one of the best Halloween costume contests in the prep school circuit, the thrill of All Hallow's Eve just wasn't there anymore. Then came college. The excitement and revelry of Halloween was back. Costumes were more important than ever, and Halloween grew from a one night outing into a weekend long extravaganza. It's a totally different experience. The girls' costumes are usually a tad bit risque- because of this excessive showing of skin, you will notice many sunburned coeds (victims of last minute over-exposure at the tanning salon) at the Plex, working hard to get tight in the days leading up to the big weekend. All of this hard work pays off at the numerous on and off-campus costume parties, all of which feature free-flowing libations and dancing reminiscent of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video. We chose to hit up virtually every option in the Cleveland Circle area, showcasing our costumes on the catwalk at Applebees, Mary Ann's, Roggie's, CitySide, and the more prestigious spots like 1942, 1914, Ignacio, and 5 Ayr Road. Mike was a female senior citizen modeled after the classic Florida retiree complete with lipstick on the teeth, beautiful green sweatsuit, walker, golf visor, inch-thick glasses, old lady perfume & pocketbook, and appropriate bosom alterations. Joe was Hulkamania-era Hulk Hogan and wowed the crowd with his baby-oiled, heavily bronzer'd muscles and spandex booty shorts. Pearcey aka Hulk Hogan was seen at one point autographing the arm of the homeless 7/11 Indian chief, a once-crazy/ heavily-intoxicated man who has recently turned over a new leaf and can now be seen jamming with his new band in and around the Circle. Look for him working the door at the next Has Beens bash.

gongshow@bc snippets:

  • Smelly Quad Phenomenom- as the self-proclaimed best people-watchers on campus, we wanted to give everyone a heads up on something smelly going on in the Quad. Over the next few weeks, Quad-crossers will smell a vomit-like stench while traversing the beautifully-bricked center of our campus. Contrary to common belief, the pungent aroma is not from overly-intoxicated Upper-bound froshies who lose their stomach after a long night of punishing Busch Lites. It is actually a naturally occurring stench that comes from the foul-smelling berries of a dominant Quad tree. We think it is called the Ginkgo Biloba. The berries fall off the branch every year around Halloween, and every time one is stepped on, the essence permeates the Quadosphere. We're glad we could clear this up for everyone. Watch your step.
  • Door-Holding- At a hilly school like BC, where there is rarely a walk without a gigantic set of stairs or an elevator ride, students must learn how to cross distances quickly while using up the least energy. The Hillside elevator is one the most important resources on this campus. However, we have observed an awkward situation which arises when one rides the Hillside lift. Say I just finish up a Tuscan Cheese and I want to go up to O'Neill Library to check the Has Beens Hockey Club website. 1) I take the Hillside elevator up to the fourth floor, usually crammed in with a kid who I kind of know but can never remember his name, so I throw out the ever-reliable "Therrre he is.." and another anonymous elevator rider, possibly of AHANA descent. 2) the elevator arrives at the 4th floor, and I try to let the other riders out first, but there is a hesitation and we all end up doing the stutter step. No-name guy bumps into AHANA girl, we all shrug, and step out. 3) Thinking we are out of the awkward situation, we look up to see the double doors that go out the back entrance of 21 Campanella Way, leading out to the walkway to lower O'Neill Library. There is two-way traffic at these doors, and everyone is in a rush. 4) I hold the door for AHANA girl, who holds it for no-name guy. A series of enthusiastic thank you's are exchanged. 5) 1.5 seconds later, next set of double doors. Same thing, but the thank you's are a little quieter. Everybody starts looking to see if they can break off to the left or right and avoid the door-holding situation at the fast-approaching O'Neill backdoors. 6) The AHANA girl is doing a fast-walk, and no-name guy has a real long stride. Nobody gains any ground, and we end up in the same sequence as before. The O'Neill doors, for some reason, are very heavy and take a hearty yank to pull all the way open. A quiet "thanks" is muttered by the no-namer and just a "ssssss" by AHANA girl, and this is really starting to get awkward. 7) No-name guy is getting sweaty palms and tries to make a fast break up the right lane to escape the situation. He loses footing on the stairs and falls, dropping his TI-82 and scuffing his Air Force Ones. A cute junior tutoring in the Connors Learning Center sees the whole thing. What a disaster. AHANA girl is playing it cool, surely engaged in a fake cell phone call to nobody. 8) The final set of doors, notoriously heavy because of the air pressure in the stairway. I lean back and pull the door open, holding it back for my new AHANA friend. And you know what? The ungrateful young lady doesn't even thank me. No "Thank You," no "Thanks," not even a fake-thanks "sssss". The final door was the hardest of them all to hold open, and I don't even get a nod of appreciation. Next time she should change lanes and open her own door. My most recent innovation in door-holding is the handicap button. It eliminates the awkwardness of holding the door and hearing the "Thank You's" devolve into "sssss"'s and finally into just awkward silences. Hit the handicap button, and you can step on the gas and escape the situation completely, and the door will be nicely propped open for the next person.
  • One last thing- The next time you and your friends (or any group of people) are enjoying a good hearty laugh, pay close attention to the last few seconds of the moment. Following a good ol' kneeslapper, everybody breaks into a series of haha's, AHHHHH's, and hehe's. However, these noises have to end at some point. It's hard to put into writing, but listen hard for the quiet, semi-awkward "ahhhhh" at the very end of a good chuckle. Everyone does it. Once you start listening for it, it's hilarious, and leads to even more belly-busting. Haha, Haha, Hahahahaha, Haha, Ha, Ha, ha, ha, ahhhhhhhh. It's that final "ahhhhhh" which is the best part of any group laughing session. You heard it here first.

As always, thanks for tuning in. We will most likely break the 7000 hit mark with this update, and we want to let you guys know we appreciate all the feedback you have been giving us. Pearcey doesn't even have 7000 friends, nevermind 7000 friend who know how to read.

Special ShoutOuts---> A nice slap on the butt to our readers from other schools: The boys down at Trinity College, we love what you guys have going down there. Camp Trin Trin is truly a great place, with vixens aplenty and good dudes to boot. Same goes to the soldiers at Harvard- just because you guys didn't get into BC doesn't mean you can't keep up to date with our superior social scene. I got great feedback today from the UNH boys, who have been added to our list of college hockey teams who read the gongshow@bc on a daily basis: UMaine (home of Billy Ryan, a dear friend of mine and a true gongshow), Brown, BU, UMass Lowell, Providence, Amherst College, Skidmore College, Northeastern, Conn College, Babson, and the list goes on. Also on the list of our out-of-school readers are a number of professional puck squads- most notably from the Pittsburgh Penguins organization, one-time Has Been and BC Eagle Brooks Orpik, and Scituate native and apple-machine Ryan Whitney. These boys will be in the Bean this weekend, and we welcome them home. We also have an extensive readership within the AHL and ECHL (Neddy H) and we would like to thank all our guys for their support and for spreading the word. You are all true gongers.