Holy Has Beens!

We knows words can't describe it. We try to tell our friends, our parents, our priests, our imaginary girlfriends, etc. But eventually we just smile and stop trying- because Has Beens parties cannot be put into words.
On Friday night, we hosted the year's first official Has Beens Hockey Club social function. We were expecting Big Things, as this was Rookie Night followed by a Has Beens extravaganza open to only our closest friends, family, and fanatics. Within our organization, every member is considered a rookie on Rookie Night, so everybody goes through the initiation process. The details of this magical night are confidential, but ask any Has Been about it, and just see the look in his eyes upon its mention.
We approach our parties as we approach our hockey games, potential girlfriends, financial accounting case studies, etc. Preparation is key. Before a hockey game, we will do chalk talk and make sure everyone is on the same page with our systems. While in pursuit of a special vixen, we will do our homework and due diligence- researching via Facebook, cross-referencing on Agora, and identifying mutual friends. Weeks of planning go into Has Beens parties, and it always pays off. We do telethons for the Has Beens Social Fund, DJ Noff and Bain Train put together the best iPod playlist on the East Coast, everyone pitches in on Has Beens decorations, the prestigious guest list is compiled, and we secure enough libations to make the entire I.R.A. legless. It is an arduous process, but one that we enjoy nonetheless, for we know that a splendid soiree will ensue.
When it's go-time, the energy is incredible. With our Rookie night commencing with the traditional "knighting" of each Has Been, which officially recognizes their personal release of "the dream" and complete acceptance of being a Has Been, there was a line at the door and several VIP/ Honorary Has Beens inside observing the Da Vinci Code-esque rituals (lead by Brother Kelly, our team chaplain). The suspense and excitement which permeated the waiting crowd was reminiscent of the Filene's Basement Annual Bridal Gown Sale. Everyone knew that upon the completion of Rookie Night, an absolute gongshow of a party would take place- a memorable evening of friends, dancing, revelry, and celebration of all that is the Has Beens Hockey Club.
As I said before, I really can't even attempt to describe the party. Within a few days, we will have hundreds of pictures up on HasBeensHockey.com for your enjoyment. For those who attended: take your laptop to Bapst, get your wireless going, and engage in a few moments of thoughtful reflection while perusing the pictures. While you're at it, check out the newest Has Beens Cover Girl. For those who didn't attend or who didn't get past the velvet rope: We wish you could've joined us, please hang 'em up and try again.

Other Weekend Highlights: While most social activities pale in comparison to Has Beens parties, this weekend was actually chock-full of good times. On Saturday night, your boys from gongshow@BC were doing some field work downtown. Our friends from the Pittsburgh Penguins, most notably Scituate's Son Ryan Whitney, Brooks Orpik (an officially rostered member of the 2004-2005 Has Beens Championship team), and Sid (the Kid) Crosby, all of whom are loyal gongshow@bc readers, were in town for a game against the Bruins and joined us for an old-fashioned gongshow following the game. We were joined by our BC crew, several Scituate natives, my brother Steve, and many other notables from the greater-Boston hockey community at The Greatest Bar and at Trinity in Faneuil Hall, both revered establishments which attract great crowds.

Hillside Napkin Notes: *Today was a great day in Hillside. Greels had been up all night working, and needed some quality relaxation. Pearcey had just dominated a Mass Comm. exam. Adam Reasoner had brought his Apple iBook with him, and we were doing some major wireless social networking. We got the name of a Hillside regular, who had thus far been known simply as "Book Girl" or "Red Shirt" from her friend, and looked her up on Facebook. From her photos, we could then identify all of her friends at the table and instantly knew where they were from, what classes they took, and the status of their lovelife. We then pretended that we had gone to high school with them, or that we shared a class, or that we had met at Orientation. Facebook is great. *We are leading a crusade against cash-paying during primetime in Hillside. It takes way too much time and meanwhile the line is lengthening exponentially. The cash-payers have no choice, though, and it is up to Eagle card-holders to bite the bullet for their fellow diners and swipe for the cash-only peasants. *Finally, a MAJOR Hillside Violation- check out this picture, taken with Brett Motherwell's camera phone, during lunch this past week. This is completely unacceptable and if identified, these Hillsiders will be banished to the Rat, where they can sleep all they want.

Big Ups To.....: *BC Women's Volleyball for dominating their way to a 2nd ACC victory. *Alex Bain for driving his Trail-Rated Jeep Grand Cherokee off the back of a tow-truck in Cleveland Circle. *BC Women's Hockey team for their barn-burning OT victory over a very bitter UNH squad on Saturday night; this lead to a historic first-ever Top 10 national ranking! *Whoever is behind the sweet statue going up on the lawn behind Higgins and Fulton. That's the kind of stuff that makes this campus so unstoppable. We will update you when we find out who the statue is of, the story behind it, etc. Our money is on St. Ignatius, the Keeper of the Flame.

That's it for today. Be sure to pass the link around to your friends and foes. http://bcgongshow.blogspot.com