Monday, January 30, 2006

Growing Up Gotti


These are the worst kids in the world. Growing up on the Jersey Shore, Pearcey was born hating these kids. As Greels found out on the 1st Annual Tour de Shore 2005, the Jersey Shore is infested with these metrosexual, gel-abusing, self-tanner hording, lip-puckering, tip-frosting, blowout-wearing, velour-wearing, sideways Kangol hat-wearing, leased Cadillac-driving, rims-spinning, cheeseball-eating, club-hopping, wife-beating, weekend Shore-house renting, Garden State Parkway driving, ear-piercing, leg-shaving, diamond stud wearing, skin-moisturizing, bling-blinging, D&G sunglass sporting, steroid-using, glowstick dancing, boombox-blasting, Yankees rooting, armpit sweating, terribly-smelling, mirror-checking, eyebrow-waxing, tanning bed owning, barbed-wire tatoo wearing, hair-spiking, chinstrap-wearing, colored-contact lense wearing, Steve Madden wearing, Golds Gym grunting, wastes of life.
Out of all the ill-fated cultural movements in American history, including the Branch Davidians of Waco and Heaven's Gate Cult, this is probably the most treacherous. They come from places like Staten Island, Yonkers, North Jersey, and parts of Long Island. When they aren't at the gym doing curls and bench press, they can be seen shining the new 22" rims on their leased Escalades. These kids would be out of place at any BC event, and instead would probably be more comfortable heading downtown to places like Rumor and Aria to do some fist-pumping.

20,000 Strong We thought 20,000 Gongshow@BC visitors was a milestone, but we are a little late on recognizing it. 22,000 is right around the corner, and we hope our new readers like what they see. Keep spreading the gongshow spirit. Also, stay tuned for Gongshow@BC videos coming soon.

Turning Back the Clock @ Conte Saturday Night at Conte Forum: Men's Basketball v. Clemson. "Throwback Night." The team will be wearing throwback jerseys and striped socks. There will be prizes for the best dressed fans (polyester shirts, leisure suits). You know that Big Al (pictured on the right, back in the day) and his boys will be sporting the afro puff.

New Column in Barstool Sports Check out BarstoolSports.com or pick up a copy at Roggie's to see the latest Gongshow U. column. Also, Barstool Sports Cover Model of the Year Party is this Saturday night (the 11th) at Game On! on Lansdowne. Click here to see all of the vixens who are competing for the glory.

Chris Collins- 100 Points There really isn't much to it, this kid is on fire. 100 career points for BC's Hobey Hopeful. Join the Facebook Group by clicking here.

Some Links These are just great.
How To Be a Guido! - Public Speaking Class Presentation
Absolutely NOT the Gongshow@BC
Chronicles of Narnia Rap!
Chuck Norris Facts- Very Funny

That's it for today. Peace be with you. Pearcey & Greels

Thursday, January 26, 2006

BALCO Potato/BC Dining Exposé/Dance-Off!


Stop staring. You're being really rude. Like you've never seen a 12" potato before. By golly, look at the girth on that thing!
But seriously kids, this is an actual potato found in Lower Dining Hall. See how it compares to a quarter in the picture. We bought it after we noticed major foot traffic around the self-serve grill area. People were gawking. Rubberneckers ceased all salad-tossing and gathered around to see the super-potato only imagined before in the late Dr. Atkins' carbo nightmares.
After we grabbed the potato, we noticed men in black suits and Ray-Bans talking into hidden radio transmitters. We then brought the voluminous vegetable up to 90 for steroid testing and preliminary x-rays. As we anticipated, there was something suspicious going on. Further examination in the infirmary suggested that the potato was an underage intoxicated female and it was transported to St. Elizabeth's. That part we made up. But seriously, this is something that needs to be addressed. Because of the recent increase in oversized produce (12" bananas, huge nuts, etc) found in BC dining halls, the Gongshow@BC would like to propose a random steroid testing system comparable to that in baseball.
This is only the first of many issues plaguing our cafeteria system. The "Turkey Nazi" of Hillside Cafe (aka "The Refrigerator") is one of the most hated employees at our university. For years, the Fridge has been denying diners even the most meager of requests: an extra slice of roast beef, a combination of cheddar and herb cheese, grill requests from the outside lines, a pleasant Hillside experience, among others. He is a big man and rules with authority over his work-study sandwich making elves. The other day, the Fridge publicly berated one of such said elves for giving a diner his requested turkey/roast beef combo. A heated argument followed between the sympathetic diner and the Turkey Nazi, and he began screaming "NO PANINI FOR YOU, NO PANINI FOR YOU!!"
Another recent issue in campus-wide cafeterias is the post-9/11 security checks of closed containers at the register. This includes plastic carry trays, bookbags, Sean Williams' Afro, sharp metal objects, the inside of pita pockets, and even coffee cups. It seems that the cafeteria was losing so much revenue to Swedish Fish smugglers and the hidden cookie in the FroYo trick that they thought this was a necessary action. Now students are prone to random, extremely invasive cavity searches at the register. A uniformed cafeteria manager carries out the search, and on rare occasions, brings students into the "back room" for an even more thorough examination which often includes a BBQ sauce massage and spatula spankings.

Chief Morningstar v. Bain Train Dance Off!--> The man, the myth, the drunk. Chief MorningStar. This Cleveland Circle character recently survived a knife attack. This is a true story. Chief got into a scuffle with "some dude" who pulled out a knife ("like samurai s**t, you know!") and tried to stab Chief. He slashed Chief's hand, and there is still a long, open wound on his palm. Chief prevailed however, and "pulled a Colt .45 out of my jacket and knocked him out cold!" Chief does more than just fight, however. He also screams at the graveyard in the middle of the night, claiming to passersby that if you scream loud enough, you can hear voices screaming back at you. Most of us call these screams "echoes," but it seems to entertain Chief, so let's not ruin it for him. On top of hearing voices, the Chief is also one sick dancer. Seriously. Watch these video clips, taken by cellphone in Cleveland Circle, and watch Morningstar have a impromptu dance battle with Alex Bain, a Gongshow@BC correspondent and Bostonians' stud muffin. Click these links to see ROUND 1 and ROUND 2.

Barstool Sports: Don't forget to pick up the latest Barstool Sports at Roggie's to see the latest edition of Gongshow U. While you're at it, check out the unreal vixens on the site.

Big Ups: To the poor kid who took a puck to the face at Saturday night's BC-UVM game. He left the rink in true Gongshow fashion, to a standing ovation. To the BC dining employees who go stand up for their rights and continue to serve whatever the customers request. To JT at the Cleveland Circle Applebees, a guy who keeps it real and is loyal to his customers (unlike you, Turkey Nazi.) To Professor Taylor and Professor Barry who are keeping the gongshow spirit alive in CSOM- you guys are officially endorsed by the Gongshow@BC.

Thanks for tuning in. God Bless. Keep the Gongshow alive.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Back to Business



Things are finally getting back to normal around campus. Hillside was packed, with a refreshing batch of junior vixens back from their adventures abroad and other BC coeds showing off their Florida/ Hawaii/ Endless Summer Tanorama/ Chanel Bronzer tans. Santa Claus is always good to BC students, and we saw a lot of new iPod Nano's being passed around. It's gotten to the point where if you don't have the white earbuds snaking out of your North Face fleece, you might as well be wearing parachute pants, a fanny pack, and a Starter Jacket. Last year, we bought the trademark iPod earbuds and tucked them into our iPod-less pockets. We had the whole campus fooled, until that one fateful April day when Pearcey botched the tuck-job.

STUFF: Gongshow@BC has continued to grow and get positive press- In today's "Heights," there is a feature on blogs and the Gongshow@BC is showcased. The "Heights" staff has continued to impress us with their intrepid journalism and instinctive knowledge of the gongshow lifestyle. Go grab a copy and check out the article.

Luke Russert & "The Ragin' Cajun" James Carville on XM Satellite Radio: Gongshow@BC field correspondent Luke Russert is making the jump from arguing with us to arguing with Democratic political strategist, former Clinton aide, and commentator James Carville. The pair will have their own debate-style sports radio show on XM Satellite Radio starting in March. Luke, who spent the past summer interning at ESPN as "Stat Boy" on Pardon the Interruption, is very excited about the show and knows he has the Gongshow@BC empire behind him. For our Gongshow@BC fans who don't keep up with their politics, you might remember Carville from the hilarious debate scene in "Old School." TONIGHT- Luke's show, will be called "60/20" (the ages of the co-hosts), will be announced tonight on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno at 11:30 PM NBC.

Around Campus: Mother Nature has been throwing major curveballs lately. We came back to school and it was balmy, almost spring-like. Kids were smiling, the skirts were out, and the dustbowl was full of frisbee enthusiasts. Then came the monsoon season, which was devastating for those vixens who hadn't waterproofed their Uggs. O'Neill Plaza was Puddle City, and campus was an umbrella graveyard. This morning, we woke up to a blizzard. Again, we want all Gongshow@BC readers to thanks the grounds crew warriors who keep the stairways and sidewalks safe for passing- they're just good guys.

Chris Collins for Hobey: We'd like to officially nominate Chris Collins, BC Hockey's leading sniper, for the Hobey Baker award. The Hobey is college hockey's most prestigious individual honor, and Chris has been on fire all year. Go to HobeyBaker.com to support Chris, a loyal Gongshow@BC reader.
In other hockey news, BC goaltender Cory Schneider has been an absolute force in net recently, as read on ESPN.com. Schneids stopped all 55 shots he faced against UVM this weekend, and is tied for the most shutouts in a season for a BC goalie. Keep it up, Cory.
The BC Women's Hockey squad continued their unprecedented season by sweeping Comm. Ave rival BU in a home and away series this weekend. Goalie Alison Quandt earned Hockey East Player of the Week honors.

Bored? -- Turn back the clock and read some Gongshow@BC classics: All Things Crunchy and Terrible Senior Pictures.

Welcome Back to School. Head to Roggie's in a few days and pick up the latest Barstool Sports issue for our second Gongshow U. column. Love Always, Greels and Pearcey

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Gongshow@BC & Barstool Sports


You have all heard the rumors and gossip. Nick cheated on Jessica. Lindsey Lohan is a drug addict. Gongshow@BC is now in a newspaper.
For verification of the first two rumors, head to USweekly. For verification of the third rumor, head to BarstoolSports.com.
You might want to sit down for a while and catch your breath. First Howard Stern goes to Sirius Satellite Radio, now the Gongshow@BC goes to Barstool Sports? The media world is a complete gongshow!
Now before all you Gongshow@BC diehards burn down Ignacio, let us assure you that nothing will change with the Gongshow as you know it. We are simply branching out to a wider audience, and the Gongshow column in Barstool Sports will be separate from the Gongshow@BC blog. For those of you who aren't familiar with Barstool Sports, it is a Boston newspaper written "By the common man, for the common man." Think of it as a Maxim Magazine but in newspaper form, with great spreads of local vixens, sports commentary, funny interviews, and other entertaining stuff. It comes out once every two weeks and can be found at Roggie's and in bins on street corners, T stations, Fr. Leahy's office, et cetera. Be sure to pick up a copy, if not for our column, for a look at the hottest bartenders in this beautiful city.
We are very excited about this, and we think you guys will enjoy it. The Gongshow@BC empire is growing, and we are working on some big things for the spring. If you have any ideas or feedback for us on what we should cover in the column, send it along. Also, send all love letters, death threats, permission slips, restraining orders, subpoenas, and Has Beens action shots to BCgongshow@yahoo.com

We'll get back to our regular posting schedule next week. God Bless America. - Mike Greeley & Joe Pearce

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Eagles Win Denver Cup, Pearcey = MVP


As the Gongshow Gods predicted, the BC Eagles prevailed in Colorado and defeated an overmatched Princeton squad for the prestigious Wells Fargo Denver Cup. Pearcey, naturally, was named Tournament MVP as he kicked out 53 out of the 57 shots he faced in the two games vs. Ferris State and Princeton. This feat is especially impressive because this was the first time Pearcey was in net for the Eagles in two years. Pretty good for a Jersey Shore surfer boy who has the Endless Summer motif on his goalie helmet. Congrats to Pearcey for a job well done.

BC Hockey has historically fared well in Colorado- the Eagles' first NCAA Championship victory was won in Colorado Springs in 1949. So not only does Colorado provide BC with many a great hockey memory, but the Centennial State's Rocky Mountains are the natural spring source of Coor's Light barley juice, which BC students enjoy in abundance at the Cleveland Circle Applebee's for a competitive $2/pint.

Big Ups: **Chris Collins, a venerable force for the Puck Squad, is on a rampage this year. Two of his league-leading 15 goals helped BC cruise to a Denver Cup victory last night. **Johnny Ayers, America's favorite punter, kept his cool despite brutal weather conditions in Boise as BC held off the Boise State Broncos in the MaryAnn's Bathroom Bowl. He followed his nerves-of-steel goal-line punting performance by holding up the BC football plane on the tarmac at the Boise airport because he did not set an alarm. It was ok, though, he's a limo driver. **Cory Schneider, who is in Vancouver being a true patriot and playing for USA in the World Junior's. Schneids has been his usual self, unpenetrable, dashing, intelligent, bold, elegant, etc and he will continue to mind the net in the quarterfinals Jan. 2nd against the Czech Republic.

The Gongshow@BC was well-represented on a national scale last night, which turned out to be quite the New Year's Eve. Greels was in Boston, bringing in 2006 with a largely Harvard crowd. There were many Gongshow@BC fans in attendance, and it was great to get feedback from non-BC readers. Who would have thought that we would be autographing bared chests just because of a blog? Pearcey was in Denver, setting all sorts of records and making everyone proud. Happy Holidays and Best Wishes to all of our friends who we were not with last night, we'll all be together soon at the Has Beens' Back to School/ New Year's Ever All Over Again Bash.

God Bless. Enjoy the holidays. Say hi to your girlfriends for us. -Gongshow@BC a.k.a. Mike Greeley and Joe Pearce